I posted this to the forums a couple of days ago but figure it should be on here as well. A new message from Ryan Roxie.
Greetings To Mole-Mongers, R77'ers and The AC faithful world-wide...
I am the Mole!
In the immortal words of George Harrison, "All things must pass"......and after being on a crowed tour bus and/or stuffy dressing room with the same guys (and one girl) for the past year I have amended the quote to: "All things must pass gas....."
And so it is, the end of The Eyes of Alice Cooper Tour 2004....never more, never more.....never more....at least until next year!
I gotta tell ya, this was one of the most rewarding tours I had ever been on....and most of the credit goes to you, the ones reading this post....'cause you are the die-hards, you are the faithful, you are the ones! You are the ones that give us the chance to play our songs, promote our own music and cd's, and live out our big rock show fantasies. So before this starts sounding like a sappy, cheesy, Ashley Simpson lip-sync lip service ass-kiss-fest, let's just leave it at saying "Thanks for coming out to the shows and giving us the much appreciated support!" Now, let's talk about the Real World (nooooo, not the MTV show!!.....)
Damn! It feels weird to be part of the "real" world again.....yeah that's right buddy, the real world where one has to actually pay for their own stuff!....a world where green fees & golf carts are not comped. A world where there is no lifetime supply of Chocolate or Coronas. A world where when you go to a restaurant you actually see your OWN hand picking up the check instead of someone else's (anyone else's pleeeeeze!) A world where your evenings don't end in the morning, and your mornings don't begin in the afternoon, and your afternoon don't even really exist then at all do they?(I think I even managed to confuse myself this time!)
What kind of world is this this "real" world?.....madness I tell you! Take me back to the "fake" world of the Big Rock Show Tour where everything really is like an After School Special, and people do actually live happily ever after...........But no, it's time to come back. Just like it was time to stop making those Rocky sequels, or time to stop releasing R.E.M. albums....it was time to come back to the light, come back home!
And that is where you find me friends....Home. Home, that's a funny word, 'cause when your humble narrator is on tour, "Home" is whatever town I'm in any given night. That's why when I write to you all, I really have this sense that I know a tiny bit about your world (even though I probably don't have a clue!).....but as fate, luck, or destiny might have it, the next "Mole Report" I write might be coming to you from an entirely new Home!.....let me explain:
As many of you might know, or none of you have ever heard....I'm married to an amazing Swedish girl and we are lucky enough to have a super cool little guy........Now, I don't talk about it much (do real Moles get married and have kids?...hmmm, I'll have to watch more Animal Planet), but I don't talk about it so much 'cause I don't want to let the "mole out of the bag" so to speak....! If all you American,or Canadian, or Japanese, or every other nationality of men where to find out how cool the Scandinavian women and culture are, you'd all be suiting up in your bright orange vests, jumping in your pick-up trucks and be going Swede-hunting before I had a chance to actually start my own master race colony there! ha! So here is the plan....or the Simple Plan for those of you keeping score at home.
After many, many years of talking about "the Move", we have escalated the operation to planning "the Move"......now this is not to say that "the Move" will actually happen...but let me tell you, the difference of one's own mental state from "talking" to "planning" is huge! The opportunity is there.....so only time will tell. In 6 months I shall be communicating to you from a very warm or cold climate depending on fate and/or a good real estate agent!....
So why tell you all about something that may or may not happen..??? STUFF....!!! That's why, STUFF!!! I've got too much stuff, and when I say stuff, I mean I got waaaaayy to many T-shirts and bottle-openers....so don't be surprised if the Mole announces a huge closet clearing in the near future.....what good is my 110 volt crimping iron gonna do me in a 220 volt country! So stay tuned, you might soon be the owner of a barely used wet-suit, or better yet, a brand new 10lb bag of Johnny Kat litter! The good news is, if I do decide to have the Great Closet Clean-Out of Roxie 77, all profits will go to my favorite charity, The Art of Elysium www.theartofelysium.org That's right, they are still doing amazing and fulfilling work bringing music and hope to many at the Children's Hospital in Hollywood Ca. They have big plans to expand their entire operation soon so check out their website and see what these good people are doing to help others that really need it!
So what's up in the creative world of R77 and The AC Group you might ask? Well.........unless you are suffering from severe short-term memory loss, or simply have my Mole reports Spam-guarded, you already know that the official release of the Roxie 77 debut CD "Peace, Love & Armageddon" is here and available at the Roxie 77 website. And yes, don't think it doesn't fit beautifully underneath both a Christmas Tree AND a Yamakah...hint, hint, Ha! The title of the R77 cd even sounds like a Holiday Season album....aside from the whole Armageddon thing of course....and what about all this talk about the new AC album...??? Well......
I'm sure that many of you have heard the rumblings of a new Alice record in the works....well you are correct sir! But if you think you have the direction of this next record all figured out, then.....fill us in!! I don't think that even us (the band) will know exactly what type of path this next album will take until it's already shrink-wrapped, but I can tell you this: We are going to do our best to maximize the sheer Raw Power of the sleazy rock n' roll Alice, but ALSO explore and expand on the Theatrical & Dramatic side of Alice....So look for an album that crosses "nervous" with "nightmare" and comes up with something totally all its own, but still totally Alice.....there, now that I've just written the press release, let's move on... ha!
So after 83 shows, 30 rounds of golf (oh yeah, Alice got me and the rest of the band hooked finally on that little white ball....better that then hooked on that little white rock!) 5 different band line-ups, and about 70,000 frequent flyer miles (why can't tour bus miles count as well, I'd have earned enough Greyhound Tickets to visit each and every one of you twice??!!) what did I learn,or should I say what did I see from the Eye's of Alice Cooper?
I saw that no matter what the critics and pessimists think, the Torch of Rock is burning bright through out the world! You, the people, no matter what the Multi-national Corporations try to spoon feed you... you WANT your rock n' roll, you NEED your rock n' roll, and you GOTTA HAVE your Wal-Mart Super Stores! (hmmmm...guess the multi-nationals got us on that one!)
I also learned that one shouldn't always Blame Canada....infact, one should embrace Canada.......amazing landscapes, people, and money exchange! We toured there for so long this time that I feel I might of picked up the accent and really started to understand what the country is aboooot...eeeeehhhhh??!!
And finally,I Iearned that no matter how many miles you might travel away from it, Home is right there where ever you are.....Home is on the tour bus with 9 other people: laughing, yelling, mocking & praising with a common goal in mind: get to the next show! Home is playing a place that you've never been before and looking out to see so many great and supportive fans appreciating the fact that we have brought the rock show to THEIR home......and ultimately, Home is being away for half the year doing something you love dearly, but also having to leave something that you love even more, and the first word out of the little guys mouth when he see's you is, "papa!"
It's good to be Home........have a great Holiday Season and we'll see ya in 2005
Peace, Love and Desperate Housewives.....
- the Mole